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  • Melissa Barth, Esq.

The Power of Silence in Divorce Mediation



Constructive communication is paramount to the mediation process. For discussions to be effective, this requires knowing when to speak and sometimes, more importantly, when to be quiet. Getting one’s points across in a way that can be understood is vital to the communication process. And in order to do so, pausing after the point is made is an absolute must in order to allow for the conversation to take it’s natural course and for ideas to form and blossom into options.


Often times I see my clients becoming overzealous in their desire to get all of their points out and to make sure they are being heard. What they don’t realize is that in order to be heard, it is equally as important to pause after raising a point in order to allow the information to set in and the other party to process the information and to reply.Silence can be uncomfortable and everyone is always in a big hurry to fill it. Even mediators can be guilty of this. Learning when not to jump in and allowing the discomfort silence brings is a very important component of effective mediation. After all, no one feels comfortable sitting in silence after an important and sometimes difficult point has been raised. But the communications that follow an uncomfortable silence is the true essence of mediation at its finest.So take a breath, allow things to set in and follow your mediator’s lead when they try to guide you to a more gentle approach in your discussions. You will be shocked at how easy a once perceived insurmountable issue can be settled by simply knowing when to stop talking.#divorce #divorcemediation #divorcemediator #divorceselfie

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